9/30/11

Healing Quest

I think nurse Korina is right. I should end the fast today so I can have a proper rehabilitation period in the clinic. I suffer during the nights, gas and she says enough.
I woke up around 7:00 am with a night mare: the river is quickly surfacing and washing from their playing beds little girls while they play while I take care of them, sing to them and laugh with them. Two of them are my little nieces and two of them are the daughters of a very sexy man that I like.
Again water, again tide and swarming and now not only threatening but drowning the little girls. All happened at the end of a long dream when I arrived to this house and to this man.
This is the little girl, the monster that I am looking for. The one who wants a legitimate room in my life with the "toys" she loves and the "sweets" she likes. Touching her is so frightening that the river is surfacing and a great flood is taking everything away, drowning the girl.
Last enema - yes, another fasting day no. I also promised at home that this would not be a fast quest but a healing quest. Not to conquest another fasting day but to reach a self transformation a turning point.

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