The First Step - Decisions

The first step is always impossible, Because when you are in deep shit you can't see clearly. So how could I reach for help? I am so alone and in secured.
and then something even worse is happening and you are certain that you are going to die and so your priorities change.
Suddenly there is a lightening lights up your vision and you get a message. When it happens grab it and don't ignore it. It may last a second but it's you from somewhere in your future trying to connect and guide you.
The voice I heard so clearly was go to Buchinger clinic - what? fasting again? completely out of the question! Certainly not for you.
But I made up my mind! I felt like there is no other choice and there is no better way for me then to search for help within my own people who share the same believes and stride on the same walks of life.
so here I am.
Talking so much about mental preparation, practising in my mind that I am going to fast. OK I did. But if They would have asked me to prepare physically by changing my diet it might have been a lost cause because... just because if I wasn't so unbalanced, uncontrolled with my sugar cravings and my stress maybe it would have a possibility. but not right now.
So here I am, in a wonderful quiet place, by Constanz lake on the German side. Viewing the Alps from a distance. White sailing boat on the silky waters of the lake. Birds singing to themselves in early morning dew and the trees are heavy with red and green apples.
Yes, here I am. ready for step 2.

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