Bad Dreams

Now I understand that it was very dangerous for me to fast on my own at home. The process is so complicated and I can't supervise myself. So much clinical knowledge is relevant and so many techniques are combined to help me survive this very toxic passage via my stress my high blood pressure and mental stress.
It is Saturday morning, still dark outside and I wake up. The dream became too much to bare. The truth is that there where series of bad dreams one after the other and each one of them is like an arrow straight to my heart my, of course with my greatest fears!
It is hard to breathe - I have to calm myself and relax to catch my breath.
The worst was that my youngest daughter disappeared with a backpack on her back on top of a garbage hill all covered with burning tires with some middle eastern demonstration going on top of that hill.
We waited for my mother in the hotel room and she didn't arrive and when I called her to check what happened she said: "Oh I will not be joining you for the weekend at the Dead Sea because I am taking my favorite grandson to the dentist". The hotel was some pathetic hotel at the middle of Tel Aviv and I just returned to collect Ginger my Shitchu - because I forget her in the room. (The dog was supposed to join us for the weekend in the Dead Sea - which is also a crazy stressful idea, trust me I know).
I left my husband with the other couple that is going with us to the Dead Sea until I collect the dog and then I discovered that I lost the keys and I don't know where my cellular is and have no idea where are my glasses. Oh, at least I could find my glasses in my pocket. I discovered that I am wearing my worst looking black trousers.
Then I see that my daughter is with me and I use her cellular to ring my husband. Another voice is answering. It is his friend that is joining us for the weekend but he sounds happy and intimate as if is my husband's mate and now my husband is empowering him, "we are going to an art workshop together" he tells me...
That is too much!
I wake up****
I have to ask the nurse for some relief.
What is the time? it is 6:20. All right I can wait 40 minutes until the morning weighing.
Not surprisingly my blood pressure is high 160/100 and the nurse gives me some homeopathic medicine.
Then the enema - could hardly hold it for 2 minutes.

I will go to the meditation class. and the gym. I will pass through those dire straights.
9:05 I am fine.

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