I am responsible for my own happiness

18:00 15th day.
Sometimes this narrow part of the Bodensee - lake Constanz reminds me of a wide river in a jungle somewhere deep in Africa or maybe Central America.
In the twilight soft and transparent light I can see the flies gathering jubilantly, enjoying the bliss of this blessed land. Indeed this land is blesses with stillness, a healing power that is within the air.
The birds are singing quietly, calling each other and getting ready for the night.
I sit and start to realize, and even appreciate a little bit this major brave, challenging and difficult choice that I made - coming here to fast and while fasting to face my array of problems - on all levels.
The stress and high blood pressure were on top of the list and made the drama of the first week. Today I woke up with a blood pressure of 120/85.
Then the focus was on my hip - not going to the walking tours. An emotional challenge to accept my reality as it is.
With the new room entered some silence to my fast. I started the massages, some pleasure and relief of tension to body and soul.
I touched heaven one morning and then another drama - my stomach. Candida gets aggressive. (up till now I am not myself).
And today the Osteopath - the first person that addresses my body from within as one complete organism and tries to tie all the different messages together. lower back to left hip. left kidney to right Sterno clavicle. belly scar from Cesarean 4th birth to hip.
I am a peaceful warrior. I acknowledge what battle is facing me when I come back home, battle of my life - to heal my body.
Soul - spirit is healthy optimistic and strong. I love my life. Just wanna be home and live them to the fullest.

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